Larmes du Feu - Tears of Fire
by nQoder
Summary: Utena ends up in Paris and lives a pretty normal life with her roommate and romantic interest Alice. But what will happen when a very unexpected, and unwelcomed as far as Alice sees it, guest arrives in town? Work in Progress - originally started in 2004 on my old account and Chapter 8 was the last update in 2007. I have added to it now, and chapter 12 is up.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Utena or any of its characters. Also, this chapter was written on my old account somewhere between 2004 and 2007.

"…Paris certainly is beautiful tonight…" I couldn't stand the silence. She was being so quiet. Probably thinking of the world she told me about, laying in her pajamas in our bed staring at the ceiling, as I stand on our balcony by myself. "…don't you think…?" I asked turning towards her and leaning back against the railing, "…Utena?"

Her head fell to the side to look at me. A slight smile appeared on her face as she looked at me with her beautiful blue eyes. She nodded an agreement to me. I walked to her and sat on the bed, moving her soft pink hair from her face and gently running the back of my hand down her cheek. "You're so quiet…" She didn't say anything. She just looked at me with a smile. "You're thinking of that place again aren't you…" I said as my hand went over the scars on her sleeveless arm, barely touching them.

Her athletic body was covered in these scars, as if she had been stabbed a million times. I had seen the scars on her arms and legs before, when I first found her on the side of the road that one night almost a year ago when we first met.

She was in such a mess. Her clothes were barely holding together. She could barely hold her self up. When I stopped my car to offer her a ride to the city, she leaned against the light poll and looked at me with those eyes and smiled. Then, closing her eyes as if welcoming the angel of death to take her away, she fell forward. I was so afraid that she had died right then. I jumped out of my car and ran to her. She still had a pulse, so I dragged her to my car. It wasn't that far, but I'm not a strong person at all. I'm very weak. I always have been.

I took her back to my apartment that night and draped her arm around me and carried her to my room, to my bed. I could have collapsed myself, but she needed to be cleaned. When I came back from the kitchen with a bowl of warm water and a towel, she was on the balcony. I sat the bowl down on the desk in front of my bed and she turned to me. I couldn't say anything. I had no words to counter the smile she offered me for the second time that night. She looked back out to le Tour d'Eiffel and said to me, "Paris certainly is beautiful tonight," in a very quiet voice. She walked, unsteadily, back into the room and sat on the bed, falling back gracefully. "Thank you," she said after a moment.

I dipped the towel in the water, and sat next to her, just as I'm sitting next to her now, and wiped the blood and dirt from her face. "So much blood…what happened to you?" She looked at me for a moment and then looked away. She didn't want to talk about it obviously. I didn't pursue it. I wiped the dried blood from her sleeveless arms. Her wounds were deep and fresh and started to bleed only when I touched them to clean them. "These wounds look really bad," I said as I re-wet the towel and squeezed blood from it. "We should get you to a hospi," I stopped when her hands touched mine.

"No, you're doing fine," she smiled at me again. I blushed slightly, or at least I felt like I did.  
"But your arms and your legs may need medical attention…" I trailed to a stop again as she removed what was left of her coat that covered her body. The scars were everywhere, one especially bold just under her heart that kept bleeding a little without me touching it. I cleaned her wounds as best as I could.  
When I finished, she fell forward leaning on me, falling to unconsciousness. My heart skipped. Gently I laid her on the bed, her head resting beautifully on the pillow. I went to my wardrobe and grabbed a clean nightshirt and put it on her. I left the balcony door open to let the warm summer breeze in the room and lay next to her.

I didn't sleep. I watched her sleep all but peacefully. Quiet screams of names I didn't know escaped her lips every now and then. At least, then, I thought they were names. For all I knew at the time, the words she spoke in her sleep could have meant anything. I'm not the most fluent in Japanese. One word, one name now that I know, was repeated a lot. "Himemiya…"

I couldn't make a story up in my mind for this girl in my bed no matter what I did. I couldn't come up with any story that might explain the marks that dressed her. That in itself was a weird feeling for me. I'm a writer. I make stories. I explain things. Yet I couldn't come up with anything for her.

The sun began to rise and I got up slowly from the bed trying not to wake this sleeping mystery. Into the bathroom I went. I turned the faucet on less the half way, making as little noise as possible, and washed my face. I wiped off the water with a dry towel and looked in the mirror and nearly screamed. There she was standing behind me. I wasn't exactly expecting her to be there.

"I didn't get to introduce myself to you," she said weakly as she sat on the edge of the bath tub. She gave a slight laugh of disgust in herself as she stared at the floor. "How rude of me…" She looked up. "My name's Tenjou Utena."

I smiled and sat next to her. "Japanese, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Well Tenjou Utena, I'm Alice. Alice Feu." I held out my hand. "Nice to meet you."  
This torn apart pink haired girl took my hand gratefully and nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal. Also, this chapter was written on my old account sometime between 2004 and 2007

Chapter 2: Mad with Jealousy

Utena's slumber is more peaceful than it used to be. Lying in her arms as we sleep, I still feel some uneasiness in her. She still twitches every now and then. No more screaming. No more nightmares. No more waking with cold sweats. She's almost back to the real world…

I have yet to decide if the world she told me she came from, if the events that happened, could be real. They have to be though. She's proof. I still don't get how she survived. The single wound beneath her heart should have been fatal. I'm grateful that it wasn't. It must have felt like death though.

Maybe I don't understand everything that happened…but this Anthy Himemiya…

The way Utena looked when she spoke of her, when she was telling me about what had happened at this 'Ohtori Academy', made me mad with jealousy. Utena misses her. Utena must have loved her. And she, Anthy, pushed a blade through Utena?

It's better that Utena is here with me. She can live a normal life here. She's doing very well getting on her feet. I watch her play basketball with the guys in the gym who can't beat her. We eat lunch together between our classes at the school down the street. She has a job at the coffee shop on the corner. When we're at home, we spend time together, we have fun together. We go out with our friends every now and then.

Ohtori is behind her. I hope she thinks it is too. She doesn't talk about it, but I bet she thinks about it, about her. It's not that I'm worried Utena would leave me…or maybe I am. What if Ohtori is real? What if Anthy shows up out of nowhere? What if she really isn't happy with me?

Maybe I am paranoid.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal. Also, this chapter was written on my old account somewhere between 2004 and 2007

Chapter 3: Crazy Drivers

I wake up to the sun pouring in through the open balcony door. I feel around and Utena's not there. I look at the clock on the stand. It's 12:30 p.m. Slowly, and groggily, I sit up.

"I slept in…" I whisper to myself as I wipe my eyes trying to adjust to the afternoon sunlight. I heard a slight laugh behind me.

"Yeah you did," Utena says cheerfully as she wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek. Looking at the clock again, the realization that my writing class started at 12 hit me. I tried to move hurriedly, but Utena held me.

"I'm late for class Utena, let me go!" She laughed and I got confused.

"Silly," she said pushing me back into the pillows.

"Huh?" She kisses my forehead and smiles down at me as she holds me and half buries her face in my hair.  
She whispers into my ear, "It's Saturday!" and jumps off the bed.

"What!" I say as I throw a pillow after her.

I got up and dressed and we ate some breakfast.

"Well, I'm going now!" I yelled to her as I open the door. She poked her head out of the shower.

"What? Where are you going?" she yelled back.

"School!"

"But it's Saturday! Can't you take off one day?"

"I really have to work on my paper!" I yelled back closing the door. Its not like we would have spent the day together anyway, she has to work.

Walking down the street with my coffee that I got about a block back, a red convertible speeds by dodging in and out of the traffic.

"Crazy drivers…" I mumble before sipping my coffee.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal. Also, this chapter was written on my old account sometime between 2004 and 2007.

Chapter 4: Done for Today

I open the computer lab door to find it incredibly dark.

"Odd…" I say to myself. I hear some rustling in the darkness and decide that before I move on, I need to shed some light on this. So I flick the lights on. "Oh hello," I say to a caramel skinned girl with purple hair sitting at the computer I usually use. "I didn't think anyone else would be in here on a Saturday."

She smiled.

"Neither did I," she said cheerfully yet meekly.

I gave a weak smile back.

"Why are you in here?" I asked as I sit at a computer across from her.

"Oh I just transferred. I decided I should do as much as I can to catch up," she said with the same smile.

"Oh…where are you from then?"

"Japan."

"Well that's coincidental. My roommate's from Japan."

She continued working with a smile. Not much else was said after that, which is fine with me. I need to work on my paper. If only I could maybe concentrate on the stupid paper. I'd look at the book, I'd look at the monitor, and all I can think about is how loud her typing is. I don't know why but this girl's presence is really annoying to me.

I can't take this.

"Well," I say as I stand with my things already packed up, "I think I'm done for today."

"Oh?" she said ever so nonchalantly. "Have a good afternoon then." I swear I could feel my face twitch as I walked out. I shut the door and look down at the ground.

"Chu!" I could have fallen over.

"Wha…" What is this thing? A monkey or a mouse or what?

"Chu!" it said again pointing at the door.

"Eh…? You want in?"

"Chu!" it said nodding.

"O…k…" I open the door and this purple thing runs in. "What on Earth…?" I'm not going to think about it. I just want to go home.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal. Also, this chapter was written on my old account sometime between 2004 and 2007.

Chapter 5: Perfect

I'm standing outside our apartment door. I should walk in. But… I know who that girl is. Or…at least I think I do. She matches Utena's description, and where else could a purple monkey-mouse thing come from other than a fanciful place like Ohtori? Should I tell Utena? No. I can't…

"…because I don't know for sure…" I say as I turn the handle and walk in only to be shocked. The scent of the candles that lit a path towards the kitchen took me by surprise. I set my things down next to the wall where I was standing, and walked along the path right to the dining table. Two places set across from each other, a vase of small white roses in the middle, surrounded by candles. Past this beautiful set up I can see Utena running back and forth from the stove to the sink and back to the stove.

I look back to the table as I walk by, running my hand across the top of the chair I'm near. I stand in the door way and watch my prince working with her back to me. Silently I walk up and watch her cutting vegetables for a moment. So dedicated to everything she does, she devotes all of her attention to making this dinner perfect.

I lean in and kiss her cheek through her pink hair. She looks up a little startled to see me.

"You're home?!"

"Um…am I not supposed to be? What's going on?"

"I wanted to surprise you…" she said laying down her knife and removing her apron. She was wearing the uniform I found in her that I had fixed by a tailor for her.

"Oh trust me, I'm surprised," I say running a hand over the no-longer-torn-up coat. "What's the occasion?" A look of slight disappointment came over her face.

"You don't know?" I shake my head no. I feel really bad but I can't think of anything…unless… I speak the same words with her, "It's our anniversary." Now she looks much happier.

"Then that explains the candles," I giggled.

"I wanted things to be perfect…" she says facing and leaning against the counter.

"But Utena," I say leaning my back against the counter, placing my hand on hers, and looking at her, "since the day you found me, everything's been perfect." She looks over at me smiling. Her hand turns under mine and grips. In one swift movement she whirls me around and catches me, leaning me back over her other arm, as if we had been dancing the entire time.

"Ali," she liked to keep my name short, "one year ago, since the day you found me, everything became perfect." I throw my arms around her neck, pulling myself up to kiss her forehead. I, however, am no where near as graceful as she is, so that causes us both to loose our balance. We fall to the floor laughing and then silently smiling to each other. Everything's so perfect.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal. Also, this chapter was written on my old account somewhere between 2004 and 2007.

Chapter 6: A Real Smile

"Tenjou Utena…" Continuously I scan the school's directory. Name after name, picture after picture. Nothing. I swear I've been staring at this monitor for hours.

One year ago I betrayed the only friend…the only prince I had. One year ago, even after I condemned her and insulted her she still tried to save me. Why? Is it possible that she was the girl from so many years ago who had promised to save me?

It doesn't really matter now. It's my turn to go to her. How far could she have gotten though? Leaving Ohtori brought me to the country side of this city. She may have been hospitalized, but I already checked there. No patients by her name.

"Oh, hello," came a voice from the door. Looking up to see who it was that walked in, I realized I didn't even notice her turn the lights on. "I didn't think anyone one else would be in here on a Saturday," this girl stated as she sits down at the computer across from me.

"Neither did I," offering the same empty smile that I gave many at Ohtori.

"Why are you in here?" I love how everyone thinks that I owe them some sort of explanation or apology for my existence. I can only imagine her reaction if I were to tell her I'm here looking for a girl I put a sword through and then watched as she was stabbed by the Swords of Hate after she failed tog et me out of my own coffin.

"Oh, I just transferred." Lying might get her to leave me to my search for Utena. "I decided I should do as much as I can to catch up," I said offering her another empty smile.

"Oh? Where from?" Persistent, just like my Utena, the difference being that this short haired blonde is testing my patience.

"Japan," I say plainly giving her yet another smile.

"Well that's coincidental. My roommate's from Japan." Yes, but I doubt that she got here the same way I did. You don't usually walk off school grounds in Japan and end up in the middle of France. I give her one more Ohtori-smile hoping she'll leave me alone.

Finally I find something. New Arrivals. If Utena's here still, I'll find her.

"Well," the girl said, breaking my concentration, "I think I'm done for today." That was rather quick. Guess she didn't really have to work on anything today. For the better, I don't need her talking to me.

"Oh?" I said thankfully. "Have a good afternoon then." My gaze on the monitor didn't shift when she started speaking again. The door opens, the door shuts, and then the door opens and shuts again. I don't know why, but she annoyed me a bit.

"Chu!" chimes in my little companion, jumping to the desk in front of me.

"Hello Chu Chu. Where did you go?"

"Chu!" he chimes again, pulling a folded paper from behind him.

"Why thank you," I say as I take it and unfold it. A real smile, for once, spreads across my face. A registration sheet is now in my hands, sheet with a full list of classes, work contact, and a mailing address for Utena Tenjou. "Thank you Chu Chu."

"Chu!"


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal. Also, this chapter was written on my old account somewhere between 2004 and 2007.

Chapter 7: Here's to You

"Here's to Paris!" cheered Utena, raising her glass with me. She looks so magnificent in that jacket. I noticed she changed it since I had it fixed for her. When I found her it was black with red trim, white cuffs, and gold buttons that shimmered in the light. Today it's mostly white, the original black part with red trim running right down the middle. She used to wear spandex shorts with it too, but now she's wearing it with these white pinstriped black dress slacks that hugs her form like a glove and matches her jacket perfectly. I stared at her for a moment taking in how she has changed in the past year she's been living with me. I feel like there are no words that would properly describe how regal and brilliant she's become, especially in the past few weeks. It's almost as if she were glowing. It's almost as if she were shining just for my eyes.

"Here's to us…" I said before the tips of our glasses touched, never wanting to look away from her. Seeing her sitting across from me looking like the perfect prince I thought about that girl and her monkey-mouse thing. "Utena," I started, almost sure I knew who it was I saw this afternoon, "there's something I want you to know." She smiled and took my hand, helping me to stand up. She pulled me to her and held me close to her, looking into my eyes, making me feel so warm and happy.

"There's something I want you to know too Ali. Something I've been meaning to say to you for such a long time. I was afraid to say it before, but now I know you would never hurt me. Not like-"

"Anthy?" I couldn't stop myself from finishing her thought with mine. As soon as that name left my lips, I broke our gaze to look at the beautiful flowers Utena had all over our home bathing in the light of the candles with the flames dancing around the wick. She never faltered, for as long as I have known her. Gently she graced her hand on my cheek and pulled my face back to hers. Staring into her eyes is one of the most amazing experiences because I love to see the emerald of my eyes mixing with the sapphire in hers.

"Ali, I love- "

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and we both tore ourselves from each other's gaze to stare and wonder who could possibly be here to ruin such a wonderful moment. She looked at me with apologies in her eyes before walking towards the front door.

"I told everyone you and I would be busy today. This better be important."

"Utena…I…"

Then she opened the door.

Then there she was.

Then there we were.

"CHU!"

"Hello."

"Himemiya?"


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal. Also, this is the last chapter I wrote on my old account somewhere between 2004 and 2007. From here on the chapters will be a little longer. Eventually I will rewrite this and previous chapters.

Chapter 8: It's My Pleasure

My heart screamed at me to leave the room so I wouldn't have to watch the two of them looking at each other in disbelief. Walking into our bedroom, I shut the door behind me before stepping out onto the balcony. I knew it. I knew it was her. I should have said something to Utena when I had the chance. Maybe then I could have prepared a bit for this. Maybe then I could have found out how Utena really feels. Maybe then I wouldn't be standing here right now, by myself, looking out at this beautiful city of romance.

There really is nothing more exquisite than the site of the sun setting behind that giant tower. It gives everything a different glow, a sense of energy, the energy of love. This would be the first time in my life, the first time in all the years I spent growing up here, that this energy has made me sad. This would be the first time that those shades in the sky made my heart cry out in desolation.

I heard the door open and shut. A few moments later I looked down and saw Utena walking down the street with Anthy towards the coffee shop. I felt like my heart just wanted to stop. How could she leave without saying anything to me? Not even good-bye?

Fine. I always imagined this might happen. I just hoped Utena … I'm not really sure what I hoped she'd do. I suppose it's more like I hoped Anthy would never find her. I hoped Anthy would never show up to take her from me.

I had to walk away from the balcony. I didn't want to watch them anymore. I didn't want to watch the sunset anymore. I didn't want to feel that fire I was being robbed of at the moment. I guess that's why I'm sitting here now, working on opening my second bottle of chardonnay. I'm so tired of being so weak, of being able to do nothing about anything that happens around me.

Knock knock knock.

For the second time tonight, I have an unexpected guest at the most inopportune time. Perhaps for the first time tonight I should ignore it.

Knock knock knock.

Perhaps not. I set the bottle of wine down on the table, with the two untouched meals, and go to open the door.

"You've come at a bad time," I started to say when I opened the door only to stop and stare at this tall handsome dark skinned man with long flowing lavender hair. He looked at me for a short moment with his deep forest green eyes before speaking.

"I saw you on your balcony," he said with an elegant and calming voice. "You looked so lonely." I said nothing. I couldn't seem to find my voice. All I could do was stare. He gave me a gentle smile and took a quick look inside to see all the flowers and candles and the unopened bottle I was struggling with before he knocked. Something odd flashed across his face for such a brief moment I couldn't catch what he might have thought.

"I've never seen you around here before… My name's Alice," I said nervously for some reason as I held out my hand.

He grasped it in both of his hands, which were even softer than Utena's, kissed it, and said, "It's my pleasure to meet you Alice, my name's Akio."

"Akio… Would you … like to come in … and help me open this bottle of wine?" Did I really just invite this guy in? Why did I just do that? Well, why not? Right? I'm alone, I can't open this bottle, and he's been nothing but a gentleman so far. Not to mention, he's actually really cute. He smiled and it seemed like his eyes got even deeper somehow.

"I would love to," he said, stepping into my living room as I shut the door behind us.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal.

Chapter 9: War, what is it good for?

Following Anthy hadn't been hard. Here I had thought she would at least make it a little more challenging, considering who her query is; but alas, I have ultimately been denied my entertainment of the chase. I know she never dreamed that I would ever leave Ohtori, our home, our kingdom, our world. I would even venture so far as to say she might have thought that I would simply disappear, or perhaps she thought that I would cease to exist, if I were to so much as set one perfectly manicured toe onto the ground that lies outside Ohtori's gates.

It would seem that she forgot; Revolution affects more than just the Prince and Princess who unite at the threshold of the Rose Gate.

Yes, Revolution affects so much more than just them; it reaches across distances untold, speeds through time yet to unfold, and rips into reality, leaving in its wake these rifts through which Revolution can truly take hold. After all, only the hammer called Revolution can truly break the mold.  
Children, long since dead and buried, have learned this less than loving lesson. Learned and, it would seem, forgotten.

All of the dolls, the wenches, the shadows, the knaves, the beggars, the pawns, the farmers, the heroes, the heartbreakers, the berserkers, the knights, the wizards, the witches, even the god damned cows felt it and because of this they all dared to turn against their King.

I think not. No; I am End of the World after all, and I do believe that play time is over. Yes, Revolution has seen to that.

Now?

Now is the time for what always follows Revolution.

War.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal.

Chapter 10: She Told Me to Walk This Way

"Himeymia...?" Did an eternity just fly by? I think my heart stopped. No, I'd be dead then right? It sure does feel like it. Then, it felt like death the last time I saw her too. My head is spinning. Do I smell...rose petals? Not just rose petals, but something more like...home? I haven't felt this since...the last time this scent...

"CHU! CHU CHU! CHUUU!"

"Chu Chu!" I practically sighed out as I picked him up, letting him sit in the palm of my hand. Somehow, looking at him, I can tell he knows how thankful I am for him pulling me out of my thoughts and back into reality. This is real, right? Anthy is really here, isn't she? Turning sapphire eyes back to the dark beauty, I give a slight smile, one much smaller than the big grin I had given Chu Chu.

She didn't say anything, only continued watching me and smiling. Wait. Is that...? It is! A real smile, one that actually reaches her eyes. Her eyes! They have a reflection! A light that I don't remember being there. Looking closer; where are her glasses? There's something else...different. Somewhat unknowingly I tilt my head to the side and take a small step back to fully see her and that's when I finally notice what else seemed out of place. Her hair is down and she's wearing a sun dress?!

"Chu!" Once again, I owe Chu Chu a treat for snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Himeymia...what are you doing here?" I ask carefully, making sure that I'm still roughly two paces away from her and that she stays in my sight. Her smile fades down into a casual look, if you could call it that.

"Utena...I have been looking for you, and now, finally, I've found you." Her eyes never left mine and as she waits for me to say something I can feel something like fire surrounding us and completely filling the room; so much that I can't seem to find air to fill my lungs with.

Anthy's eyes moved quickly; first to the door then over my shoulder. I turn slightly, making sure that she stays within my peripheral vision and that my back isn't turned towards her. Oh no, Alice... Now I see what had caught Anthy's attention. White roses, melting candles, and two cooling meals set across from each other with an unopened bottle of wine sitting between them.

Unhooking the collar of my jacket and pulling out my shirt from my neck to let some air hit my skin, I look back to Anthy. It's so hot in here I can't concentrate enough to even wrap my head around the fact that Anthy is here right now.

Her dark skinned hand moved, and I saw it coming towards me with a flash of light that couldn't possibly be there. The sun is too low and the lighting in this dining room...Alice's dining room...no, our dining room...  
Looking around slightly, I realize that I had moved away instinctually from Anthy and towards the door when she reached out to me.

"Utena..." She drops her hand slowly to her side and the casual tone that had been on her lips disappeared, though I didn't look long enough to see anymore than that. Gently setting Chu Chu on my shoulder, I open the door and look out into the hallway, always keeping a keen eye on the darker girl...no, woman...next to me.

"Let's go for a walk," I say, being careful not to let her out of my sight and even more careful not to make eye contact. She floats by me and into the hall, and I follow her, shutting and locking the door behind me.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal. Also, brace yourself, this one is longer than the previous chapters.

Chapter 11: Now You're Just Somebody That I Used to Know

As I came closer to the building, the one I knew I would find her in, I pressed down onto the accelerator more, bringing the red convertible into the parking garage faster than I should have, and making the engine roar as it crossed the threshold. Shifting down into second gear, I pull on the parking brake while pushing the accelerator closer to the floor, flinging the car into a slight spin around the barriers of the parking garage. Once on the third level, I push the car into another reel until it screeches to a halt in the parking space by the apartments' entrance, with the trunk of the car nearly touching the wall.

The hard clicks of my heeled shoes against the cement echo off the cavern-esque walls, quickly followed by two staccato beeps and flashes of headlights, signaling that the alarm on the car has been set. As soon as the sound of that damned machine hit the air it was immediately accompanied by a sudden coldness and a second rhythm of footsteps.

It's nothing like the wind on a snowy day in northern lands. This iciness moves with life and with purpose. I pause and stare into the darkness of the shadows in the short distance and the footfalls that did not belong to me continued. I know this chill. The shivers are familiar. With widened eyes, I realize where I know this frost from; this is the precursor of death.

"End of the World..." The whisper escapes my lips before I could stop it. Bringing my one hand to touch the lips that have once again betrayed me, my emerald eyes scan the darkness of the shadows. The pace quickens and the sounds get louder, closer. Then suddenly, a rush of clicking footsteps and a low and quiet chuckle mixes into a strong gust of wind that blows around me, sending the skirt of my sun dress and my long loose hair into a whirl of royal purple and sky blue. Just as quick as it happened, it ended. I start looking in every direction, turning to face each wall, click click click click, and I see nothing - no one. Letting out a slight sigh of relief at not seeing him here now, I clench my fists as my expression turns serious and angered; more expression than anyone at Ohtori would ever dream to see on my face, including him.

"...Akio..." I said his name slowly and filled it with venom as I spat it out. As soon as it collided with the frigid atmosphere a cacophony of beeping horns, slamming doors, engines revving, and an explosion of flashing head lights filled the garage.

Squeezing my eyes shut and covering my ears, I fall to my knees. The temperature was now dropping at a rapid pace and I could feel the goose bumps forming everywhere. I need to move and I need to do it now, before I'm trapped. Opening my eyes a bit I can see my breath lingering in the air.

Watching it take its time to float away, I suddenly notice that there is now a figure out in front of the shadows, even if he is still veiled by them. Of course; he would make a production of this, as if the entire world were watching us with baited breath. I would expect nothing less from my theatrical brother; I, however, am tired of these games, these dramatics of his.

"Chuuuuu CHUUUUU!" I felt him moving before his little battle cry even hit the air. My oldest companion dislodged himself from his hiding place within my hair, ran across my back while holding onto a lock of purple rope, and whipped himself out into the air, flipping and posing the entire way, and making a ten point landing between me and the shadows. In the strobe light effect of the flashing head lights and unyeilding noise, I watch as he seems to transform.

My breath feels as if it is stuck in my throat, threatening to suffocate me should I make one false move. The lights blind, then darken. In one flash, Chu Chu looks as he always does, with his red tie and gold earing. In the next cycle, he is wearing a little white suit, with a white cape, and...a messy dollop of light purple hair on his head? After the next set, he is back to his usual looking self. What is happening here? The flashes are only miliseconds apart and the same difference with each new cycle continues at a dizzying pace.

I recognize this, I know I do. I can feel it at the deepest parts of my core. Something about what Chu Chu is doing is so familiar and emotional...and its breaking my heart.

Unblinking, I watch several more seconds until realization descends on me like a triplet of falling elephants. Chu Chu is taking on the Power of Dios, the same way that Utena had when...

A searing flash of brilliant white light engulfed my vision and then vanished, leaving floating spots of different colors in its wake. Shaking my head to clear the dizziness, I notice that the all the lights and noise that the cars were making had stopped. Not just stopped, but it would appear to have not happened at all; and I would think that it hadn't if it weren't for a very cocky looking monkey-mouse standing five feet from me with his hands placed on his hips triumphantly.

Smiling at him, I hold my hands out as he jumps into them and place him back onto my shoulder. After quickly glancing around the area for Akio, I turn my head back to Chu Chu and smile again.

"Thank you, my little friend."

"Chu!" he chimes before crawling back into my amaranthine mane and making himself comfortable. Turning back to the door that leads into the apartment complex, to my Prince, I take a deep breath and grasp the handle.

"It's now or never, and time has officially ran out I suppose."

Moments later, I find myself in front of the door the student transcript listed as Utena's address. She's in there. Right now, my Prince and I are only separated by pressed wood and plaster. So much time has already been wasted since the Seal was broken and the Revolution began; since I lost my true Prince, since I lost her. Steeling my resolve with one more calming inhale, I raise my hand and take hold of the little brass knocker.

"No more," I whisper gently, more for myself to hear the words than anything else. "Not another second, not another breath, not another heart beat will go by wasted." With a self assured nod to myself, I put that promise into motion.

Knock Knock Knock

Waiting for the barrier between us to be removed feels like a lifetime; but then, I've waited how many lifetimes for her to come to me? I think I can wait for what feels like one more to show her that finally, I've come to her.

As the door starts to open, I feel Chu Chu slide down my locks before letting go to fall to the floor and run into the apartment.

"CHU!"

"Hello."  
"Himeymia?"

Hearing my Prince call my name made me feel as if all time had stopped. All I have thought about in all this time, the rehearsed reunion, the praticed speeches, none of it was doing me any good now. To say that she has managed to steal the words from my throat is a gross understatement.

"CHU! CHU CHU! CHUUU!" So impatient, but then he always has been.

"Chu Chu!" she says happily as she lifts him up in her gentle hands. I want to cry, I want to run to her, I want to feel her, but I am frozen as ice and rooted to the spot I stand in. She looks back to me and her beautiful smile fell from her eyes and turned into a smaller smile, one that barely tried to hang onto the threads of is existence. I want to tell her everything, explain it all, but all I can do is continue to smile at my Prince.

This strikes me as strange, but then I start to examine her as she does me. The changes, the familiarities, the memories we each seem to be searching for just to look right past them; all of it lying between us and it distracts us from the strangeness. A strangeness I would have already forgotten if it weren't for the familiar differences I notice in my Prince now. Her hair is short now, no longer the lengthy strands of rose colored silk that I remember. Her uniform is different too. More white than black, longer, leaner, more mature.

Sometimes I forget how many years have passed since I've last seen her. I didn't even think about how she might have aged, grown into a young adult now. It's like she's blooming and I've missed it all.

Utena continues to study the changes in me, taking a step back and tilting her head as she tries to put her finger on it. It must be a shock for her. She remembers me as the quiet, withdrawn, scared little doll in that fantasy kingdom of a school. She's probably wondering where my glasses went off to, where my conventional uniform is, and how my hair went from a tight bun to the long straight locks that they are now. I've rediscovered so much of what I used to be since I last saw her, during this quest of mine to find her. I must seem like a completely different person to her. As different as she is now to me.

"Chu!" I smile at my little friend. Utena was so focused on studying me that she didn't seem to notice his little head whipping back and forth between us; and he's right. The time that's long since gone now, the changes that took hold of both of us, it doesn't matter now. She's still Utena. She's still my Prince...

"Himeymia...what are you doing here?"

...and he's still out there. Of all the possibilities to come to pass for us, the one I mustn't forget, not now: the Hunt is still on.

Utena can sense it too, but I don't think she realizes what it is she senses. She seems on the alert, waiting for that eminent attack, as if she were standing with sword in hand on the Dueling Platform once more.  
Then I notice it again. That strangeness I found so easily ignored a moment ago, and now I can see it. Utena seems...scared. Yes, and her fear is of me. I can see that now. She's paying so much attention to the space between us, always keeping her eyes on me, or me within her vision.

I let my smile fade as my original hope is drowned in doubt. All this time, all this searching, and finally I've found her, my Prince...

"Utena" I start carefully, choosing words I didn't think I'd have to use for this moment, "I have been looking for you, and now, finally, I've found you."

Yes, now, I've finally found the Prince I betrayed, the friend I stabbed, the girl I failed. I found her and now she, no longer a girl, but now a woman, fears me. No, not me, becuase I am not her, that thing I used to be, anymore. My Prince has found fear of the Witch, a fear she never had in Ohtori, and she still sees me as that damned Bride.

The pit of my stomach feels like it is falling unimaginable distances, leaving me to feel nothing but coldness in the air. It seems that the End of the World was still able to follow us here despite Chu Chu's efforts. The hour is almost upon us now. Involuntarily, I feel my eyes tear themselves from this woman I used to know as a girl to the door I had entered the apartment through. As I do, I can hear him whisper and I know that only I and Chu Chu notice it. My dear brother knows this too.

"She's not alone...You've lost her...She's not the one you were looking for, not anymore...Now, Utena Tenjo is just somebody that you used to know...like all the others...Come home now...Be a good girl...Remember who your real Prince is...who your real Prince always has been...who your real Prince always will be...Come home to our kingdom...the flowers are lonely and longing for your touch...my Rose Bride..."

My eyes quickly dart to the other side of Utena and see exactly what End of the World was talking about. She was about to have dinner with someone. From the looks of the simple yet elegant layout, someone special.

Utena looks over to the table as well, and now she seems sad. I don't know what I walked in on, what I might have interupted, but it doesn't really matter. I didn't spend all this time to find her just to see her scared of me and sad that I'm here. This isn't how things were supposed to happen.

Suddenly, whatever had rooted me in my place and stole my voice had lifted as the air got just a bit colder. I reach out to her, to try and comfort her, but she recoils violently away from me and towards the door.

"Utena..." Whatever might have been left of my smile died and buried itself into a frown as my hand fell unceremoniously to my side once again. The Swords still have her. Its obvious; the mistrust, the paranoia, the pain. I cannot and will not blame Utena for not trusting me; after what I did to her it is no wonder that I am the Witch in her eyes; but I refuse to allow her to suffer anymore than she already has at my hands.  
She set Chu Chu on her shoulder, opened the door and look out into the hallway, one eye constantly trained on me.

"Let's go for a walk." Defeatedly, I allow my legs and feet to carry me out into the hallway. Crossing the threshold of the apartment felt like walking through a screen of time-frozen honey. Once in the hall, after breaking through the sticky non-existent barrier that tried to hold me back, I could feel ice along the back of my neck. Quickly, and discretely, I throw a glance towards the stairwell that led me here.

For as scared as I was to look, I let out a most satisfying breath at the fact that my brother was not standing there waiting for us. I focus my attention back to the door Utena was locking before she could turn around and lead us in the opposite direction, away from where I knew he was; and he is so close I can feel his breath on my neck.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Deal.

Chapter 12 - She Will Set the World on Fire, No One Thought She Could Do That

The world was changing, morphing, transforming, into something I can no longer recognize. Up is down, black is white, and magic is science while science is magic. This is not the world I grew up in, the world I have come to know so well.

This is the world she came from; that Prince of Lies. Utena certainly manage to pull the veil over my eyes; but, now, Akio has shown me the light - so to say. As if I couldn't see it on my own as it extinguished itself on the other side of the horizon, as they walked off into the sunset.

Oh yes, so very story-book-fairy-tale cliche. Well, while every fairy tale has its heroes, what about those who are neither prince or princess?

Am I to remain weak and powerless over the things that happen to me for the rest of my life? Am I going to be overlooked and blend in with the rest of the unimportant never ending faceless audience?

"That, you beautiful child, is completely up to you."

That's what Akio had said to me. He said many things to me tonight; and of course I listened. How could I not? He spoke as if he had watched my entire life from the moment I was born up to the moment he knocked on my door. He described every triumph, every defeat, every love found and lost, every event that ever truly touched me through my life and he did so with such elegance that I could not believe I didn't become entranced - except for one thing. An over powering, overwhelming emotion that I've not entertained in the past.

Rage.

Want to talk about a character I knew nothing about? Anger, despair, jealousy. I knew nothing of these. My life, while not the happiest, had still been happy. I am tired though. I am tired of being able to do nothing about anything that happens to or around me. All I could do is sit back and spectate. I am tired of just riding the waves caused by others, hoping that it'll calm down and rest soon. I am tired of being the by standard that pays the price every time. I am especially tired of letting others take what they want from me.

Akio understood that.

-Earlier...-

Pop!

"Ah, there we go," he said with a voice that felt like velvet as he poured the wine into the two untouched pieces of stemware on the table. Once both were filled with a bit, he picked up both glasses, handed one to me as he took one for himself before he pulled the chair from the other side of the table and sat with me rather than across from me.

I held the glass in my lap and stared at the liquid as it seemed to swirl a bit. I could feel my head as it hung from my neck and I probably looked as bad as I felt. After I took a tentative sip from the celebratory chardonnay, although I suppose it was more of a 'don't let me drown in my own pitiful sorrow' bottle, I lifted my head some and looked at the mysterious, tall, dark, handsome man I had invited into my home.  
Seriously, I had thought to myself, what the hell am I doing? Yes, he is attractive, but I do not know him. For all I can tell he might be some sort of serial killer, a rapist, or even a monster; and what do I do? 'Oh hello beautiful stranger, come on in and have a drink, becuase I'm all alone and sad and nobody in this world would ever notice if something happened to little ol' me.' Genius, Alice; absolute genius.

Then again, that's pretty much what I did with Utena, and that turned out just fine up until she walked out the door on me with that...that...that...WITCH!

The smallest of curls touched the one corner of his mouth, and slowly a knowing grin had spread to the other corner. He took a generous draw from his glass and then draped his arm across the back of the chair as he crossed his long legs. His gaze lingered on the table for no more thana moment before he moved his eyes to lock on mine.

"So, Alice, tell me, now that I've helped you with your bottle of wine, why you have this lovely dinner prepared and yet you are alone?"

I broke eye contact, letting my line of sight fall onto the floor. Why indeed. I let out a small, self-loathing laugh before draining the bit of wine left in my glass, and then looked off to the side, out the window, as the last of the sunlight disappeared behind the horizon.

Akio, still being a gentleman, or maybe in an attempt to get me drunk, refilled my glass while I wasn't watching and waited patiently for an answer.

"I...I don't know," I said weakly as I glanced to him. He shifted his weight so that he could hold his glass comfortably on his knee. His eyes didn't leave me and his face seemed to hold compassion but he didn't say anything. He just waited for me to continue again. My eyes fell to the floor.

"I'm a good person," again the words sounded weak as they hit the air pathetically. "I guess I'm just not good enough..."

At this Akio set his glass down and then leaned towards me, taking my free hand in both of his again. Briefly he looked me in the eyes with an intensity that could be felt throughout my entire being.

"Then," he said in that beautifully dark voice of his, "let us talk of the End of the World."

For a brief moment I just looked at him with blank eyes, and then I felt it. I knew what we could do. I could feel my eyes change - and I embraced it.

"End of the world," I repeated and then as I felt the rage in me burn I continued with one thought, "drowning in fire."


End file.
